I came to terms with my sexuality in high school. I had been in the church my whole life but this particular Sunday was a pivotal moment. I was just being to really listen to the sermons and the words coming from the pulpit. The messages that denounced gay people frightened me. Was I really going to hell for loving another woman? I thought God loved all His children? He hates me because I am gay? Did He not make me this way?
These questions kept me up at night. My pastor steered clear of sermons that involved the LGBT community but guest ministers seemed to speed towards the topic. Especially the older crowd. I vividly remember one Sunday when an older female minister was invited to guest preach at our church. She stood in the pulpit spewing hate about gay people but in the same breath telling us to love one another. I was so angered and perplexed that I remained in the vestibule for the rest of the service. I understood that she was older and grew up in a time where homosexuality was not accepted at all, especially in the southern Baptist black community. Yet, that was no excuse for her hypocritical statements. She reduced those who love the same sex to beasts as if we are not human and worthy of receiving love from all people.
This woman disgusted me with her condescending message but she is not the only one. Those people who believe that are righteous just because they are not gay are paddling in the same boat as her. These are the same people who commit sins such as adultery, gluttony, etc… Since when did humans become so righteous that they can determine which sin isn’t “as bad” as another sin? Oh, probably at the same time when humans decided to call themselves “Gods” with a capital G yet still reduce my God to a lowercase “g” in tweets and fake spiritual posts. So who are you to point fingers? Pick your poison.
I have come to realize that some religious leaders will denounce the LGBT community until they are blue in the face. People must understand the difference between spirituality and religion and draw their own conclusions. I believe that God loves me just the same, women-loving and all. Looks like I’m continuing my spiritual journey with all my gayness attached!
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