So, I got cheated on.
Excuse me?
Huh?
Girl!?
Yes, I knowwww. I’m feeling real bamboozled right now.
*DEEEEEEEEP. HEAVY. SIGH.* I was with a man that I loved tremendously. He was my everything! I was that strong black woman that didn’t need a man but wanted one. I wanted to be with him all the time. I wanted to learn everything about him. I wanted to submerge him in my culture. I wanted growth with him and build a future. I wanted to be the best person I could be, for him. I would’ve done anything for him. I wanted him so bad. It felt like a real life fairy tale. Sometimes I felt like I needed him and that was the furthest from the truth.
Whew Chile. When I heard he cheated, I was in shock. If you told tell me that we would’ve ended like this I wouldn’t have believed you. I was so shocked, confused, and distraught. I really didn’t think it was true. I was exasperated and out of sorts, going through the regular post heartbreak emotions. I am definitely still shocked. But I don’t feel broken in the slightest.
It’s easy to fill yourself with hate after a loved one has betrayed you. Most are blinded with rage and instantly want revenge. Some people fill themselves with immense sorrow and feel sorry for themselves. I rebuke both of these feelings. I want peace. I chose to to not let this alter my heart. I will still be loving and kind towards all. I will also be making sure that I love myself more than anyone else. This made me realize how much I put others needs before my own. Self-love is the best way to heal from any trauma. When you don't put yourself, life just isn't fun. I didn't even realize that wasn’t operating like myself or caring for myself the way I should have. I was resenting people around me and my responsibilities. I put my happiness in someone else’s hands.
This woke me up. I am grateful that I have so many more years to live, for myself. I'm excited to live for me. I am so grateful for the love story created, even though it has ended. He taught me so much and thankful for him helping me grow. I thankful for all the lessons learned. I am extremely grateful that I was reminded how important self-love is. I really don't hate him. I sound crazy, don't I? Maybe I am. I have forgiven him, already, so I can heal from this. Break ups suck, especially when you care about the person.....a lot. I started of thinking of ways this could've been avoided. I thought of better communication, we should have talked so much more. I also reminded myself that I am not the reason he cheated. I didn't do anything to cause this. Just because I have forgiven him, does not mean that we have to continue writing our share love story. This is the beginning of a new story for me. All humans make mistakes. I’ve made a lot in my life and so has he. I’m sure whoever is reading this has too. We have all made decisions that we aren’t entirely too fond of. But I bet some good came out of those stupid mistakes. Right?
To my friends: don’t hate him, don’t waste your energy. Don’t be angry for me. Check up on me if you must but wounds don’t heal if they’re continuously reopened. I know you probably want all the tea and I have made a video for the ones closet to my heart.
To anyone with a similar experience: Take care of your body, mind and soul. Your life isn't over, just simply restarting. Check out this video, it has helped me immensely https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm3wIc6fyec
To my ex: it’s all love.
Submission by Ashley
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