The summer going into sophomore year, a boy who was a class above me had slid in the DMs and I didnʼt think much about it, but I thought the attention was cute. After talking on the phone a few times I realized we were better off as friends. The attraction just wasnʼt there for me and I was fresh out a situationship (ladies you know how that goes). We went out one time and even then I emphasized that this was a FRIEND outing; I even paid for my own food. However I still had a feeling he liked me more than a friend.
Fast forward to the beginning of second semester, I came back to my dorm late that night from a group project meeting. I was stressed and tired from the meeting. He and I have been texting during the day and invited me to stay the night. I told him that I wasnʼt sure if that was a good idea because I didnʼt want him to think I wanted him in a romantic way. He assured me that he would be, quote “a good boy”. I thought about the invitation because like I said, I was stressed and also I figured a night chilling with a friend would be better than being alone in my dorm room. So I agreed to come over that night. He picked me up and we went to his apartment complex; coincidentally the same complex all my friends were at.
When we got to his place I purposely changed into sweat pants and a hoodie because I didnʼt want him to think anything was going on. I chose not to wear shorts and a shirt because I thought that would come off as a green light for him to try and be romantic. I thought my sweats were my protection, my armor. Not to mention it was my period so I felt everything but sexy. I just wanted to go to bed.
As we got into bed he immediately started touching my butt. I told him to chill and he said come on just relax. I told him no snd that I didnʼt want to do this. Did that stop him? Nope. He kept touching my leg and trying to put his hands in my pants. So I thought “ok if I kiss him maybe thatʼll be enough for him to stop”.
Yeah, that totally didnʼt work. He pulled me on top of him and tried to take my hoodie off me. I got off and said I really didnʼt want to do this. I kept saying stop and that I was tired. This back and forth literally went on majority of the night and resumed when we woke up the next morning. I was literally exhausted from staying up most of the night to make sure he didnʼt do anything. That night I contemplated finding my friends but I didnʼt want to cause a scene. My goal was just keep him at bay.
When I woke up I showered with the door locked because I didnʼt want him to come in. At one point he went to his room, trying to pull his pants down but I gave him a look of disgust so he pulled them up. After he dropped me off to my dorm I texted him that I didnʼt like what happened last night. He said he didnʼt understand what the problem was. I told him I said no so he shouldʼve stopped. That was a foreign word to him so he claims he didnʼt understand. So I cut him off. Avoided him and ignored him if we crossed paths. He would constantly say that he didnʼt understand why I was mad at him.
The simple fact is that NO means NO. I know there were many opportunities to leave.
Should I have left that night immediately? Yes.
Should I have even gone to his house? No.
Did that kiss only make things worse? Possibly.
Recently, he asked me why I was still mad at him. This time, I told him I forgave him. Forgiveness was not for him but for myself. I was finally able to let go of that anger. Iʼm blessed to not have had anything happen to me that night but unfortunately millions of femalesʼ stories donʼt end like that. #WhyIDidntReportIt because technically I wasnʼt raped. I didnʼt want to make it a bigger deal. I just
wanted to forget about it.
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