Think about that conversation you had when he wasn’t your boyfriend OR her boyfriend, but she still had a problem with you and “wants to set the record straight”. Or the time when you were chilling at home and a random notification popped up in your Instagram DMs. “Hey, I know you don’t know me, but…” Or better yet, you’re scrolling through Twitter and see your boo in a video wilding out with a girl in Miami during spring break, and the girl tags you to expose him?
A lot of times, women get really upset at
each other, and end up in verbal or physical confrontations whilst the object of their affection is scratching his balls and watching TV, or on their phone entertaining someone else.
When it happened to me, I had several girls coming to me at once and let me tell you, I was shook. The guy and I weren’t even speaking by that time (el-oh-el) but it still filled me with anxiety and discouraged me from pursuing new relationships for a while.
What a lot of women fail to realize are two things - one, being played by the same person is a sisterhood. There’s a common struggle and the same end goal, which is to be happy and loved. Two, somehow it's always perceived from a place of shame, and makes those who go through it feel alone.
It happens to the best of us. It happens to all of us! And it’s awkward and upsetting every single time. Being come to as a woman is the perfect time for self reflection, because at that point, your relationship is over and it’s time to focus on you baby girl.
If you’re ever approached as a woman, befriend her. Chances are, she’s hurt too, or at least knows what it feels like. Don’t attack her, remember, it’s your trifling significant other’s fault that you’re in this predicament. Finally, do not go back* to that unhealthy relationship! It takes a lot of courage to tell another woman about her business, and to disregard the message is to disrespect your sister.
*in some instances, attending individual and couples counseling is an appropriate route to take if both parties want to keep the relationship, but don’t overestimate your chances for success...
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