It's time to focus on what's most important: individual growth and wellness.
They say if you love someone, then let them go. Well, I’m here to tell you how HARD it is. To be precise, letting go when all you want to do is hold on tighter feels like shit. But, it's not impossible, and hopefully you're inspired to make a similar move if your situation mimics mine.
"...it’s much more constructive to support one's journey to self-discovery, rather than try to force something that doesn’t have the range to last."
I didn't want to reframe my relationship with this beautifully spirited black man, whom I’d grown to love so dearly. However, I wasn't blind; he needed to figure himself out and didn’t have it in him to show up for both of us in that way. *cues Auntie Whitney’s version of “I Will Always Love You”*
So, how'd we let go? For starters, we quit everything cold - phone calls, sex, even long casual conversations - and let me tell you, it was the worst. I cried every day for at least two months, sometimes even in the middle of class. Even still, I knew that if we kept going down our initial path without him taking the time to be by himself, I'd be much more upset later on.
Because of the lessons I've learned, I consciously choose to embrace the shift. This experience has taught me that:
You will never get from people what they can't give to themselves.
It’s much more constructive to support one's journey to self-discovery, rather than try to force something that doesn’t have the range to last.
People come and go, but personal development lasts a lifetime.
No matter what, I know he’s always in my corner and excited to see me flourish, even if that means he can’t be right by my side. Some days are harder than others (this man is fine, y’all, and you know how it is when it’s been too long *wink*) but the bigger picture keeps us in line.
So yeah, breaking up is hard, but I’m alright, he’ll be alright, and we’re making it through alone, together.
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