I truly reconciled with the end of my first real relationship and gave new relationships a half ass try.
Eventually, I realized that for me it might be best to take some time away from dating. I stopped centering men and removed romantic/ sexual relationships from my list of priorities.
I ended up abstaining for 15 months.
I didn’t originally set out to do this.
It kind of just happened.
It wasn’t bad at all. What began as a “men are useless” thing turned into a time of growth and self-discovery.
At the beginning of 2018, I declared it would be my year. I would center myself and my forever things which are family, friends, God, and purpose. I would have the time of my life with people who truly mattered. In that year, I graduated, gained admission to a graduate program, solidified lifelong friendships, became closer than ever with my family. I began my graduate program, cultivated friendship with my classmates, adjusted to life at prestigious PWI, worked to maintain the lifelong friendships. I made an extra effort to center other people and ensure that my relationships were solid. I did my best to pour back in to those who poured into me.
Everything in my life was significantly better. I was the most steadfast in my prayer life and faith walk I’d ever been. My friendships were better because I was being a better friend. I challenged myself to dream with my eyes open and stumbled upon my BHAG (big hairy audacious goal). I was living life without fear or restraint (minus the whole not busting down thing) and it was paying off in big ways.
As I was doing all of this, I was at my best mentally, physically, emotionally and it was love.
Like a tree that sheds leaves to store nutrients in order to survive the cold winter, I let some things go to focus on what I really needed.
But eventually spring came. I was in bloom and I met him.
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